Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Randomize
