It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
