Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
