I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize