One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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