I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Randomize
