Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
