I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
