he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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