Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
