Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize