When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
