He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
