dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize