This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
