Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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