That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
