my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
