I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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