I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
