Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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