Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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