Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
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