whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
