also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
