apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
now i know why i became what i already was.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
