so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
