It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize