I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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