I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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