those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
