WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize