I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
