party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
