don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
