okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
