So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
