Why does Corona taste like a burp?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
