Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
