'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
