bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
