then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
