There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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