i permit you to call me
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
