So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
