you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
