What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
