Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Randomize
