what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Blood and glitter go together right?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
