OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
