Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
