these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
