I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
