only if we run a train.
done.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
