lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
