We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
