I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Sober January is a disaster.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
