maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
