Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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