i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
