Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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