He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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