Buhtt sex?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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