don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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