Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
