My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
