I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
That was before I lit my hair on fire
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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